As I walk through the doors in a scary new school,

I try to act grown-up, confident, cool.

If the other kids only knew how scared I was inside,

they'd laugh, ridicule and criticize.

As I look around for familiar faces,

I find no one, and no empty spaces.

The bell rings, my heart skips a beat,

I take a step forward but I can't move my feet.

I find my class and a friend of mine,

I take a breath and say to myself, Everything will be fine.

The day comes to an end, things weren't that bad.

I look back and forget about why I was so sad.

Two years go by, I'm in eleventh grade,

I'm thinking about my car, my boyfriend, and the next time I get paid.

When I think about life I think of my friends this year,

never once thinking about my future, my career.

Another year goes by, it's my senior year,

I start to think about my future and I'm filled with fear.

I start studying and doing well on my tests,

trying hard to finish my homework and do my best.

Getting my report card, seeing how I was affected,

thinking about my college and hoping I was accepted.

Why didn't I think in my early years,

and take my mind off my tempting peers?

It's time to graduate, tears running down my face,

thinking about my childhood, rushing it like a race.

What happened to my petty fears,

my pigtails, bruises, and teddy bears?

As I walk up the stairs I look out to my friends,

and faking a smile I know this is the end.

I accept my diploma with tears in my eyes,

and realize we had the time of our lives.

 

submitted by Julie Jones, Palmdale, CA for Teen Ink (November 2000)