Managing Middle School Madness - Helping Teachers & Parents Understand the "Wonder Years"
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For many parents and students, the transition from elementary school to middle school can be difficult. Managing Middle School Madness is a compilation of advice and Information to help parents prepare for the behavioral, social, and academic adjustments that students may encounter. In this book, Glen Gilderman offers practical tips on topics such as preparing for the first day of school, establishing strong parent-teacher relationships, helping with organizational skills, setting up rewards for grades, monitoring student friendships, and understanding bullying. He also advises on how parents can maintain awareness of tough issues such as alcohol and drug use, teenage pregnancy, depression, eating dis-orders, and suicide. Included are worksheets for parents and children and resources that can be used throughout the middle school years.

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Product Details

ISBN: 1578865166
ISBN-13: 9781578865161

Format: Paperback, 144pp

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

$19.95

Table of Contents                                                                  Page 2

Forward                                                                                  Pages 3 - 4

Chapter 1 - Dealing with the School                                      Pages 5 - 21

Chapter 2 - Dealing with the Teacher                                     Pages 22 - 29

Chapter 3 - Dealing with other kids                                       Pages 30 - 65

Chapter 4 - What the Parent Can Do                                      Pages 66 - 77

Chapter 5 – Parents Helping Parents                                      Pages 78 - 81

Chapter 6 – Suicide and Other Tough Stuff                          Pages 82 - 88

Chapter 7 - Once school starts...                                             Pages 89 – 93

Chapter 8 – Improving study skills                                         Pages 94 - 103

Chapter 9 – Advice to an eighth grader                                 Pages 104 - 139

Chapter 10 - Zap 19                                                                Pages 140 - 157

Appendix                                                                                Pages 158 – 173

About the Author                                                                   Page 174

Forward

            This is coming from a teacher, but...

It might be interesting for you to know that I have been a parent of a middle school / junior high student, and I do teach and/or come into contact with about four hundred 7th and 8th graders per year. I am utterly amazed at how unprepared parents seem to be for this very tumultuous time.

The problem I hear from parents is that their children metamorphosed over the summer, and they don’t know them any more! This is not the parents’ or child's fault. It is part of a move toward independence and autonomy that every normal child must pass through in order to become a healthy adult. The problem is that this child moving toward interdependence makes the parent(s) feel like an unhealthy adult!

The following chapters are an attempt to make these times easier. My experience comes from sitting with perplexed parents at parent/teacher conferences, talking about and witnessing successful techniques used by effective parents and foster parents, and working with a broad range of children.

I spent the first part of my teaching career working with Emotionally / Behaviorally Disordered Children in a Junior High Alternative Center, Residential Treatment Centers, and an Adolescent Chemical Dependency Center. For the past 13 years I have continued to see many of these same frustrations in the parents of the middle school social science students I now work with. Suffice it to say, I have come in contact with many parents who were at their wits end. Sadly enough, some of these parents had already given up. In some cases, unconditional love had turned into unconditional rights to treat parents any way the child wanted to.

            This book is about being proactive with your child. It is about trying to head the problems off at the pass. It is like reading about riding that bucking bronco before you actually try to ride it. I hope it helps!

Book Excerpts:
Chapter 1

Tip 5 – If your child is struggling – When to look at special education or a 504 plan

In my years of teaching, I have witnessed quite a few parents who resisted getting their child help through special education services. Special education today is not the same special education that you grew up with. Students are not separated from the rest of the students.  They are in regular mainstream classes and are generally not singled out.

Most special education teachers have one time during the day when they will meet with their students in a classroom, but more for a resource to help them organize their work and increase study skills. Otherwise, they may see them as a second teacher in their mainstream classes. Their teacher will probably help any student who needs help, while spending more time helping students on their caseload. Most teachers will try to be seen as another adult in the room, not as one kid’s special teacher.

Because of the complication of Federal laws in special education, I will attempt to give a simple description of some various programs designed to help children cope. As a former special education teacher who is still licensed to teach students with Emotional Difficulties, it strikes me as funny that I feel like I should talk to a colleague to find out how all of the acronyms have changed for this year. Instead, I will use the terms I know and that will help a parent decide if they need to seek some help for their son/daughter.

All students who qualify for special education will be put on something called an Individual Educational Plan. (I.E.P.) This is a legal document that has many rules attached. If your child is put on an IEP, you will have meetings to determine progress and to plan for their educational future. This is an area where you get a lot of control over your child’s education. You will be on a team with your child’s regular education teachers, the special education teacher, an administrator, and any other people who are part of your child’s educational life.

Learning Disabilities

What is it? How does a child qualify?

Contrary to popular belief, a student must score as average in intelligence to qualify as learning disabled. They must score between a 90 -110 on an IQ test to be able to get services. There must be a significant gap between intelligence and achievement in the areas of mathematics, reading or written expression.

I do an activity in my classroom to demonstrate how being learning disabled might feel. Student must hold a mirror on their desk and trace a star while only looking in the mirror.  They are graded on speed and accuracy. Many students who have found school a breeze struggle mightily with this task. After the activity, I ask them how it felt to try really hard to be good at this task, but still have a very difficult time. They always answer with the word frustrating.

I then ask them to consider what life might be like if the skill of tracing the star was a part of every class and it was how you were graded. That may be the same feeling someone who finds it very difficult to read, write, or do math. I hope this activity gives my students some empathy.

What kind of help would my child get?

Most LD teachers work on study skills, organization, and the student specific area of concern. They advocate for the child, suggest modifications to mainstream teachers, and assist student with tests. Their job is to follow the IEP.

 

Emotionally/Behaviorally Disorders (EBD)

What is it?

EBD is for students who are experiencing behavior issues in school. The behavioral issues are interfering with their education and the other students in the school. The purpose of the program is to help the student with learning to behave and learning to get along with their peers and teachers. For the first 4 years of my career, I taught EBD students in many settings.  I taught in residential treatment centers, alternative schools, and in regular schools.

In my observance, students who were EBD were either angry, scared, or bored. Some of these students had very tough home lives. Some had been abused. Some were mentally ill. Some were spoiled brats. Some were so smart that not being challenged was causing them to act out. Some struggled with learning disabilities, dyslexia, or Attention Deficit Disorder. And some were kids who came from normal families who could not figure out what was wrong.

What kind of help will my child get?

Your child is basically given the services they need to function in a regular classroom. The also have an IEP, which can focus on behavior and academic areas. Their case manger will advocate for them and work with coping techniques so the child can find success. They will help the mainstream teacher with adaptations, interventions, and accommodations.

  

Mild/Moderately Mentally Impaired

What is it?

This is the acronym that seems to constantly change depending on political correctness. This special education area is for children who have lower that average IQ’s. For some reason, they have a low IQ and need some extra help in school. These students will usually have some core classes in the mainstream. One of the greatest things that MMMI students give to their classmates is an understanding that we are all human. Since I started teaching, I have been blessed to have taught some of the most unique people in the world.

As part of my class, I do a psychology project where student have to do a report on something to do with the brain. One of my students, Jenny, had Down syndrome. After turning in their written projects, students can do an oral presentation for extra credit.

Jenny did her project on Down syndrome and was very excited to present her project. It was one of the most amazing moments I have ever experienced. She took the opportunity to explain to her classmates her struggles and the great things about being who she was. She explained that the reason she had a tough time talking was because her tongue was a little too big. She explained her heart surgeries. She explained that it was harder for her to learn, but she tried really hard and she was making great progress. The presentation was a great eye opener for my class.

What help is available?

MMMI teachers help their students to function in school and life.  They teach them the needed skills to thrive. They often set up jobs outside of school to teach occupational and social skills.

OHI

What is it?

OHI is kind of a catch-all for other health impaired. It could include ADD or ADHD, asthma, diabetes, as long as it adversely affects the child’s education.

What help is available?

It depends on the problem, but school districts are responsible for educating all children, regardless of disability. They are also responsible for educational accommodations.

Other categories of special education:

Visual Impairment

Speech or Language Impairment

Traumatic Brain Injury

Orthopedic Impairment

Hearing Impairments

Autism

504 Plan

If your child does not fit into a special education category, but is still struggling in school, you may want to look at something called a 504 Plan:

A 504 plan is a legal document included in the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. It is for planning a program for students who may have some sort of disability, but does not fall into special education guidelines. A 504 plan is not an Individualized Education Program (IEP) that I have mentioned earlier for special education students.  

If your child has a physical or emotional disability or has an impairment (Attention Deficit Disorder, Diabetes) that restricts learning, he or she will probably qualify for a 504 plan. In order to be placed on a 504 Plan, the student must be referred by a teacher, support staff, parent/guardian or someone from the medical community.  After referral, a committee of people involved in the child’s learning (student, teachers, principal, nurse, counselor and anyone else you want to invite) must be held and a plan must be developed. 

During this meeting, the committee should discuss any accommodations that would aid the student in their learning process. The accommodations should be tied to the disability. Some examples could be the location of their seats in their classrooms, being able to leave the classroom with a partner to check blood and to eat in class for a diabetic. As in an IEP, teachers could be told to modify tests by giving more time.

As a parent, you may be asked to assist at home in some way to help with the 504 plan. Setting a specific bedtime or setting aside a certain amount of study time could be a part of the plan.

The plan can be changed at the request of anyone on the team.  To change the plan, another meeting must be called. A yearly review should be done to access the effectiveness of all accommodations.
 
 
Chapter 2

Tip #4 - Parent-teacher conferences

            At Parent/Teacher Conferences, first seek to understand, and then to be understood. Listen, and then ask as many questions as you want about your child. Don’t ask about your child’s friends since that is confidential information, and it puts the teacher in an uncomfortable position. If you have a problem with the teacher, ask to schedule an individual conference with the teacher at another time.

            Also, make sure you go to conferences even if you think your child is doing great. It means a lot to the child, teachers like to say good things about students, and you might find out some surprising information.

Questions to ask at conferences:

            If the teacher doesn’t cover the following areas in their scripted conference with you, feel free to ask questions. That is exactly what conferences are all about.

• How does a student earn their grade in your class?

• Is work coming in on time?

• Do you have a daily homework assignment? Could you show me a sample?

• How is the quality of the work? Do you have any samples?

• Do you hand back completed work?

• How does my child do on tests and quizzes?

• How often do you test?

• Do you think my child is studying for tests?

• Do you hand out a study guide at the beginning of the Chapter?

• Do you have a cumulative exam at the end of the year?

• Are there any projects due this quarter?

• How is my child’s behavior in class? Have you had to reprimand them for anything?

*Do you see my child as having a positive or negative attitude?

• Is my child appropriate with you as far as asking questions, asking for extra credit, etc.?

• How do you think my child is doing socially? Do they seem to fit in? If not, do you have any advice?

*In general, do you see their friends as positive?

• Have you noticed any problem with sight, hearing, or attention?

• What can I do to help?

• If I need to get a hold of you, how do you prefer I do it? (Direct call, voice mail, e-mail)

           Student Led Conferences

Many middle schools use a student led format for conferences. In this format, you meet with your child’s advisor and your child leads the conference. They summarize each class and the advisor usually speaks about how they are doing in their particular class. Leading the conference really forces your child to become a partner in their learning experience. It holds them accountable. They must accept responsibility for their grades and actions.

Some students will attempt to pit their parents against their teachers. This format prevents that from happening. The advisor is your first contact person at the school, so you should work hard to establish a positive relationship with this person.

            While this format can be very beneficial for your child, you do not get to meet all of your child’s teachers. Encourage your school to have some open conferencing times so you can at least meet each teacher and give them your card.

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Article in the Duluth News-Tribune on 9/23/07:

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As seen on WDIO Good Morning Northland 8/24/07:
 

Click here to see a recent interview with Glen Gilderman about getting ready for back to school time.

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Click here for Minnesota Parent Magazine

Now appearing in the back to school issue of Minnesota Parent Magazine:
 

Middle school madness

 

One day in June you say good-bye to a fairly uncomplicated elementary-school kid. A few months of summer pass. And all of a sudden you have a full-fledged middle-schooler on your hands. One who needs and wants a whole new level of independence. One who may have to navigate a new school, new responsibilities, and new friends.

Glen Gilderman has seen that transformation thousands of times in his 20-year career as a teacher. He now teaches 8th-grade social studies in Proctor, Minn., and wrote Managing Middle-School Madness (Rowman & Littlefield, 2007) to share what he has learned.

He offers these tips for making the most of these years

 

Before the first day of school

Above all, see yourself in a partnership with the school

Parents and teachers need to reinforce each others’ messages

Go to the orientation or open house with your child

Make sure she knows how to find and use her locker and find her bus, the bathrooms, and the office.

Help your child set his schedule

Discuss each elective and push him to challenge himself.

Find out about extra help before the school year begins

Even the kid who soared through elementary school may struggle in middle school. What tutoring options are there?

Encourage your child to get involved in extracurricular activities

Sports and other activities not only teach valuable skills in their own right, they’ve also been shown to correlate with higher grade-point averages.

Go through the school handbook item by item with your child

All the rules, schedules, policies, and other miscellaneous information you think you know are in here.

 

Once school starts

Establish a routine

Every good routine starts with bedtime and a good night’s sleep.

Ask lots of questions of the school and of your child

Asking early at school keeps little problems from turning into big ones. Asking your kid makes her know you’re interested and involved.

Volunteer

Schools can always use help and there’s a high correlation between parents’ involvement and students’ success.

Keep lines of communication open by alternating communication techniques

There are lots of ways to communicate: daily meals together, regular “dates,” bedtime chats. Try them all, often.

Encourage your child to ask about extra credit

Going the extra mile will impress the teacher and may improve a grade.

Set aside 30 to 60 minutes of academic time every day

Even when there’s no homework, this is time for reading and learning.

Give your child opportunities to assert independence in a positive way

Kids can choose their own clothes, cook dinner (with some help), or choose which hour will be homework time.  

Don’t forget to praise your child

Notice the good at least as often as you notice the bad.